Obnoxious Boston Fan

The world of sports from a unique perspective.

Our Final Four: Red Sox, Celtics, Tiger and then some

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Red Sox get ready for 2011.

Kevin Youkilis and the Red Sox are hoping to flex their muscles in the AL East. The 2011 Red Sox season opens with sky-high expectations Friday at Texas.

What’s in worse shape – your bracket or the Libyan Air Force?

Opening Day is this week. The 2010 World Champion Giants open Thursday against the Dodgers and the 2011 World Series Champion Red Sox  (we hope!) open Friday at Texas. Caught previews of the Rays and Marlins in Sunday’s local paper. Now I know who is going to finish third in the AL and NL East. The Yankees were pretty quiet this spring. Expect them to make less noise once the season starts.

Buck Showalter

Do you want cheese with that whine?

Here’s my Buck Showalter imitation – “Whaaaaaa!” I think he needs his bottle. The Orioles manager took a shot at Red Sox GM Theo Epstein because Boston actually spends money on free-agents like Carl Crawford. Sound’s like Baby Buck is already making excuses for another 96-loss season. The Orioles will finish so deep in the standings they’ll end up 4th – in the Central. Ask fans in New York and Arizona – the quickest way to win a World Series is to fire Showalter – then wait about a year or two.  

Kudos to Sox skipper Terry Francona calling Showalter’s remarks “out of line” Sunday. The difference between them is simple: Francona’s teams win the World Series while he’s manager and Showalter’s teams win the World Series after he’s manager…

As a reward for beating Florida – Butler Coach Brad Stevens gets to stay up past his bedtime all week…

VCU and Butler in the national semifinal. When did they move the NIT to Houston? Imagine how good VCU would be if they actually belonged in the tournament. To quote Otis Day: “Rama Lama Ding Dong.”…

UConn Final Four - Kemba Walker and Jeremy Lamb

"Hey Jeremy, Houston is that-a-way."

Props to UConn Coach Jim Calhoun – The Hoodie of the Hardwood. UConn began the Big East Tournament as the 9th seed. Now 9 straight tournament wins later – No. 3 UConn is the only Big East team left and the highest overall seed in the Final Four.  Kemba Walker and the Huskies are all bite. And they’re ready to be unleashed in Houston. After with that job on Arizona Saturday – UConn’s Jeremy Lamb left March like a lion. Now we’ve got Calhoun vs. John Calipari in the Final Four. Calhoun leads by about 400 victories in wins that count but Calipari has the edge in scandals, vacated Final Fours and fake SAT scores…

Despite not having a single team in the Final Four, President Obama is still in the top 96% nationally with his NCAA bracket. They must be counting those votes in Palm Beach County. He did have France getting past Libya in the play-in game. And those French fighter jets – talk about an oxymoron – they still have their training wheels.

I’m doomed – I still have the Celtics in my Final Four. The Orlando Magic – as a team – are not shaving until the end of their season in a “Fear the Beard” show of team unity. I vow not to get my hair cut until the Celtics are knocked out of the playoffs. At the current rate – I’ll look like Ray Allen by Mother’s Day.

Shaq O'Neal of the Boston Celtics

Is that a 36 XL?

Shaq’s comeback is now pegged for April 5 – but right now the only baskets he can count on this spring are coming from the Easter Bunny. The Big Shamrock  has reportedly lost weight during his absence – he’s must be down to triple digits by now. Doctors put his injured foot in a boot to help it heal. Yep, anything to slow him down. He’s on a 24-minute shot clock as it is. He’s so slow time goes in reverse whenever he moves…

Boston is 10-7 since the Perkins mis-deal as after Sunday’s 85-82 rout of Minnesota. Is it too early to call it “The Curse of the Perkino?”…

By the way, has anyone checked ancestry.com to see if Wyc Grousbeck is related to Harry Frazee? Just shoot me if Wyc is planning a revival of “No, No, Nanette” at the Shubert…

William Shatner

"Beam me up anytime."

William Shatner was in Orlando at the big comic book, sci-fi convention this weekend. Captain Kirk turned 80 this month. At that age – warp speed is 39 miles an hour in the left lane on the Florida Turnpike. You get beamed up about 5 times a night to hit the john. And the Starship Enterprise is docked in about 5 parking spots. James T. Kirk vowed to take the MegaCon audience where “no man has gone before” – which in their case was “on a date.” Shatner’s current show – “S@#& My Dad Days” – reportedly has a spinoff in the works – “S@#& My Dad Forgot.” While T.J. Hooker is an octagenarian, Officer Stacey Sheriden can arrest me whenever she wants…

What do J.J. Henry, Ryan Moore and Mark Wilson have in common? They all beat Tiger Woods this weekend. After his 24th place  finish at Bay Hill – Tiger’s best hope for a green jacket this year is a sale at Men’s Warehouse.

Good to see the NFL players hard at work during the lockout. Hines Ward is on “Dancing with the Stars,” Chad Ochocinco is trying out for a soccer team. And Brandon Meriweather got a job in the sporting goods department at “Off-Target.”…

Gotta go — Showalter can’t find his binky.

The Obnoxious Boston Fan can be reached at obnoxiousbostonfan@hotmail.com. Follow him on Facebook and listen to his featured calls on “Open Mike with Mike Bianchi” on 740AM The Game in Orlando on Monday mornings between 8 and 9 a.m.


Written by Obnoxious Boston Fan

March 27, 2011 at 8:50 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

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