Obnoxious Boston Fan

The world of sports from a unique perspective.

Hooray for Patriots Day, Sugar Ray and the red-hot Sox

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Ray Allen

TRAY-MENDOUS!

Happy Patriots Day!

“The Red Sox Are Coming!  The Red Sox Are Coming!”

Three in a row. Break ’em up!

The real marathon was at Fenway with all those Red Sox baserunners crossing the plate in Monday’s 9-1 win.  Four hits (HR, 4 RBI)  from Jed Lowrie, 7 scoreless from Dice-K, J.D. Drew leads off with a triple, Carl Crawford hits an RBI double. There has been this much shock and awe on Patriots Day since, well, Patriots Day. You knew things were looking up when you they doubled their win total in 24 hours over the weekend.

Kendrick who? (Just kidding). If the Celtics and Thunder meet in the NBA Finals – we will fear “The Curse of the Perkino.”

Sunday’s headlines: Death Ray Destroys New York. Hip-Hip-Hoo-RAY! Allen’s shot came in the “Knick of time.” It was simply TRAY-MENDOUS, it came from beyond the “Arc de Triomphe .”  This could go on forever. Jermaine O’Neal was spectacular. It’s about time the Celtics got something from an O’Neal besides a “Shaq-tue.” …

To channel my inner Buford T. Justice — Jermaine finally became “germane” to the situation…

For Ray, it remains a case of “Springfield and Bust.”…

For 2 months, the Celtics have been telling us that Shaq would return for the playoffs. I’m thinking we were “Jim Tresseled” on that one. I’m afraid we won’t see Shaq in a Celtic uniform until Carl Crawford reaches .200, Gary Busey earns a Ph.D and Kemba Walker gets a library card…

Dwight Orlando, Orlando Magic

"Whens the next flight to LA?"

I saw Orlando Superman Dwight Howard scored 46 points in a loss Saturday. The only thing that will get him to L.A. quicker than a first-round exit by Orlando is a first-round exit by the Lakers. So many Magic players dozed off in their Game 1 loss, I thought I was watching air traffic control at OIA. This time, it was the Magic who left at half-time and didn’t come back – not the fans. There is a lot to do at the Amway Center in Orlando – there’s Stuff’s Playground, lots of  fancy restaurants and upscale bars, interactive displays, etc. If you stick around long enough, you might even see a basketball game…

Someone in Orlando set up a website – “staydwight.com” – to keep Dwight Howard in town. Well, it already has some on-line competition from a site called “LosAngelesLakers.com.”

Hard to believe a convicted felon and disgraced ballplayer like Barry Bonds would still have such a swelled head…

Tom Brady

"Why me?!?!?"

It’s Patriots Day. We honor Patriots like Paul Revere, John Hancock, John Adams — and the greatest Patriot of all – Captain Tom Brady. Unfortunately, Revere’s infamous cry of the “British Are Coming, the British Are Coming” has been re-placed by Brady’s whine of “Boo, hoo. Whaaaa! Why wasn’t I drafted in the 6th Round?” And the history books have it all wrong. Revere wasn’t tipped off by lights in the Old North Church – rather it was the work of a little-known spy sent by Colonel Nathaniel Belichick. And the bad guy, it turns out, was a fat English General named Cyrex Ryan. He was in charge of the British foot soldiers.

Kenya’s Geoffrey Mutai won the Boston Marathon in record time Monday. Surprised Donald Trump wasn’t at the finish line asking for his birth certificate. Shaq’s idea of the Boston Marathon – all you can eat pancakes at the IHOP in Brighton…

The University of Central Florida is No. 9 on Playboy’s party school list. Does that mean they’ll change their name from the Knights to the Trojans? Hey, with all his antics (including 5 suspensions), South Carolina QB Stephen Garcia is trying single-handedly to get his school on Playboy’s list. Of course, when it comes to Playboy, everything is “single-handed.”…

Boston has 1 goal in 2 games against Montreal. Was Crawford was moonlighting for the Bruins…

Walk this way, slowly.

J-Lo was named People Magazine’s most beautiful woman.In a related note,  her American Idol co-host Stephen Tyler was named America’s Most Beautiful Grandmother by the AARP…

The Beach Boys were in Orlando over the weekend. They’ve been around so long their idea of a “California Girl” is Betty White.

Obnoxious Boston Fan can be heard Monday mornings on “Open Mike” with Mike Bianchi and Brian Fritz on 740-The Game Orlando, reached on his Facebook page or at obnoxiousbostonfan@hotmail.com.

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Written by Obnoxious Boston Fan

April 18, 2011 at 9:53 am

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