Obnoxious Boston Fan

The world of sports from a unique perspective.

Sweet 16, Tiger’s new girlfriend and the Red Sox

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Happy Sweet 16…

Brandon Meriweather’s lawyer went on the offensive Monday – telling the cops and the media that his client didn’t shoot anyone. Police say the shooting  is still under investigation. Someone is going to have some explaining to do. Stay tuned…


Has anyone ever taken a good-looking mug shot?

Who’s going to be a bigger draw this week at Arnold Palmer’s tourney in Orlando this week – Tiger Woods, Phil Mickelson or Tiger’s new girlfriend:  Alyse Lahti Johnston (left)? Tiger’s latest flame is only 22 – or as Mark Sanchez would call it – over the hill. Johnson was arrested on suspicion of DUI last year, but the charges were eventually dropped. Read all about it here.  She is training to play on the LPGA tour. Tiger’s advice – avoid the trees when you drive…

The state of Florida has 2 teams in the Sweet 16 – that’s as many as the entire Incredible Shrinking Conference (formerly known as the Big East). Now if the Gators and Noles make the final four – that might be bigger than spring football. Do you have FSU, VCU, Butler and Marquette in your Sweet 16? Didn’t think so…

"I can't see Libya getting past France in the play-in game."

Republicans are upset at President Obama for filling out an NCAA bracket. He’s beating me big time and is in the top 99.9 percent of  ESPN’s nationwide pool heading into the Sweet 16. But on the other hand, I’m not $5 trillion over on my VISA card. The GOP should be happy nonetheless – Obama’s picks were more conservative than Rush Limbaugh speaking at the NRA convention…

Rick Pitino lasted 40 minutes in the NCAA tournament. That’s about 39 minutes and 45 seconds longer than usual. Coach, when it comes to the Sweet 16, you’re not walking through the door, either. Just wondering: Did Danny Ainge channel his inner-Pitino before he made the Kendrick Perkins trade? Maybe the Knicks should re-hire Pitino – he couldn’t hurt…

"Hey, Balboa: Dislike!"

Up next on 30 for 30’s “Fab Five” –  Jalen Rose rips every other team he never beat.  Rose supposedly tweeted an apology to Grant Hill about his “Uncle Tom” remarks before the movie came out and offered another “non-apology” in the Wall Street Journal. Come on. Enough with all these apologies and tough-talk on-line. Do it face-to-face (or over the phone) or don’t do it at all. Imagine Clubber Lang calling out Rocky on Facebook. Or Gary Cooper shooting it out at “High Noon” on twitter: @willkane bang, bang, hope ur dead! LOL! 🙂 …

Please no more “NFL lockout”/”Slavery” analogies. Those words don’t even belong in the same Kindle. Hey Adrian Peterson, since when did slave quarters   include 5 bedrooms, 3 cars, 8 TVs, and a purple room with a pool table and a giant “Vikings V” made out of  14-karat gold painted on the wall. By the way, Adrian is shackled with a $40.5 million deal…



Separated at birth – Marquette coach Buzz Williams and Three Stooges’ legend Curly.



UConn’s Kemba ranks up there with Johnny Walker Red, Luke Skywalker, J.J. Walker and Walker Texas Ranger on the all-time coolest Walker  list.

Speaking of “student-athletes” –  Florida OT Carl Johnson scored a whopping 6 out 50  on the Wonderlic. That puts him in line for a Dexter Manley Fellowship…

It’s spring and Red Sox Nation is out in full bloom across florida. Last week – Sox fans conquered Disney World, brought a record crowd to Lakeland, overwhelmed the 17 Tampa Bay supporters in Port Charlotte and packed McKenhnie Field in Bradenton twice. Boston has also sold out 115 of its last 116 games in Fort Myers. All we need are high taxes and bad weather and we’d feel right at home…

Red Sox fans are spreading far and wide across Florida this spring.

Josh Beckett lost twice in 6 days to the Pirates. I don’t think that’s happened since the days of Sister Sledge. When it’s all said and done – the Sox would have spent about $170 million on Beckett and Dice-K – their 4th and 5th starters. For that kind of cash – you could buy half the Tampa Bay Rays or 4 tickets to Opening Day at Fenway on Stub Hub…

Gotta go…Ohio State football coach Eddie Haskell just found Ward Cleaver’s wallet in his back pocket and has no idea how it got there.

For more from the Obnoxious Boston Fan, check out his Facebook  page. He can be reached at obnoxiousbostonfan@hotmail.com.


Written by Obnoxious Boston Fan

March 21, 2011 at 8:10 pm

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Spring Fling with the Red Sox

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Red Sox Nation is out in full force across Florida this spring. Here, the citizens of Red Sox Nation take over the spring home of the Atlanta Braves at Champion Stadium located in Walt Disney World.


Top o’ the evening.

Celebrating St. Pat’s Day with a break from a 5 game in 6 day run watching the Red Sox across Florida. The real March Madness. After nearly 600 miles and 11 hours of driving, $120 in gas money, $250 in ticket money (some games needed more tickets than others) and probably another $200 or so for food (we splurged a bit there) we’re exhausted and broke. We did catch a break on the hotel – we only needed one night away from home and that was free courtesy of Hilton Honors.

So here are some observations from Kissimmee, Bradenton, Lakeland, Ft. Myers and beyond…

Don't look now - but we're headed for Pawtucket.

The same, only different: Spring training crowds are bigger and the tickets are more expensive – but it remains as innocent as always. The players are relaxed. The fans make World Series plans. The games (still mostly played during the day) are meaningless and vital all at the same time. Also, when else during the year can you leave happy after a loss? Or how often do you get to see the opening day lineups for Boston and Pawtucket in the same game? How about never.

Three types of people who watch spring training games:

1. The fan. They are there to watch the game, score the game and know who is pitching for the Marlins. They understand why Darnell McDonald is playing and aren’t “shocked” when David Ortiz skips a Sunday trip to Bradenton. Their conversations center around whether or not Felix Doubront will be in the rotation for Boston before July and the pitch count on  Jon Lester. They comprise the bulk of the crowds with whom we interacted. Needless to say – optimism abounds across Florida these days.

"What do you mean there's a baseball game going on behind me?"

2. The tourist. “We’re here in Florida, it’s spring, it’s 80 and sunny – so let’s go to a game.” They’ll tell you about 2004 like it just happened yesterday. Then they’ll go on about the wait for Space Mountain, the weather and the taste of Butter Beer at the Wizarding World of Harry Potter. They might even watch an inning or two if it doesn’t get in the way of their tan. (See photo at right.)

3. Aunt Ethel. She has no idea what state the Marlins are from and doesn’t care. “Martha is 94, is blind in one eye and has cataracts in both eyes – but Bob won’t cook for her any more. I’m worrried.”  That – my friends – was a real conversation overhead in Ft. Myers.

Sox Nation South: Florida is the largest state in Red Sox Nation outside New England. The crowds at every stop were overwhelming partisan in their Sox fandom. Tigers fans were the best when it came to being over run by thousands of Boston fans. They were also grateful for Victor Martinez.

Two creams, please: Driving across Florida can be mind-numbing once you get past Disney World. Coffee is key. But you will learn (via billboards) that: Kids Eat Free at IHOP on Tuesdays and vasectomy appointments are available on-line. Every exit is virtually the same – 7-11, McDonald’s, a Shell station – and, if you’re really lucky –  a Waffle House.

Even from a distance, Dice-K looked solid against the Tigers.

Highlight: Besides spending time with my family and favorite baseball team – it was clearly Dice-K’s performance against the Tigers in Lakeland on Tuesday. He threw 5 nearly flawless innings in front of what was a record crowd for Joker Marchant Stadium. Surprise, surprise. Hope springs eternal.

Lowlight: Josh Beckett’s  implosion against Pittsburgh. Five earned runs in 4-plus innings. He tried to explain it away afterward. I wasn’t buying. I always believe that athletes — whether they’re playing Little League, spring training or in the World Series — want to win every time they play – period. Beckett and John Lackey  (who pitched well against the Marlins) are the key for Boston this year. They need to combine for 30 wins, 400-plus innings and an average ERA below 4.00 or the Sox won’t win the East.

Wicked awesome: Adrian Gonzalez’s  first swing in a Red Sox uniform – base hit.

Wicked pissah: Seeing Carl Crawford in person in a Red Sox uniform – waited 8 years for that one.

WTF?: Jacoby Ellsbury has some major pop in his swing. Saw him hit 2 HRs and both were rockets.

Repeat after me:  It’s only March: The lineup (except against the hapless Marlins) was not as productive as we had hoped. It’s still spring so we’ll cut them some slack.

For $75, you could have gotten up close and personal with Terry Francona.

Save the $75: The Braves offer “On the Field Fan Access” before each game. For $75 you get to stand on the field behind a rope and watch batting practice – presumably putting yourself in a prime position when it comes time for autographs. Wednesday, the folks who did that were lucky to get Terry Francona (who signs every day) and ESPN’s Nomar Garciaparra (Mia wasn’t around). Of course, if you showed up early like my Cousin Tom – you could have gotten Gonzalez, Ryan Kalish, Josh Reddick and Jarrod Saltalamacchia for free.

Take a seat: Just about every seat in every stadium is good to outstanding. McKechnie Field  in Bradenton was my favorite – it barely holds 6,600 and was first built in 1923. Great stadium, not so great team.

For more on our trip check out our Obnoxious Boston Fan  page on Facebook. We can be reached at obnoxiousbostonfan@hotmail.com.

Written by Obnoxious Boston Fan

March 17, 2011 at 8:31 pm

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Today’s Take – On the NCAA, NBA, Red Sox, Brandon Meriweather and more…

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Jim Calhoun is a true college coaching legend - in every sense of the word.

Happy Bracket Monday. Here’s Today’s Take…

My Final Four – Boston, Orlando, LA and Dallas. Oops, wrong bracket….

UConn Huskies Coach Jim Calhoun was wearing his hoodie over the weekend – 5 straight wins and the Big East championship. The “Belichick of the Backboard” has the resume befitting a true college coaching legend – 7 Big East tourney titles, 2 national championships and, finally, an NCAA scandal. Kemba and the Little Walkers went 5 for 5 in 5 nights to earn that No. 3 seed. Haven’t seen a run like that since Mark Sanchez hit the “Glee” cast party…

NBA Godfather David Ster-leone has spoken. Orlando coach Stan Van Gundy had better shut up or he’ll wake up next to Stuff’s severed head. Guess free speech isn’t part of the game plan for NBA dictator Pol Pot-belly. Impressive on Sunday — Orlando’s 111-88 rout of the Sunspots and the Celtics holding the Bambis to 57 points…

Tiger’s leaving Orlando. The local Perkins is having a going out of business sale…

I’m outraged Harvard didn’t get an NCAA bid – someone’s Facebook page is going down…

This just in — from 3 to 4 today Brandon Meriweather will be at Dick’s Sporting Goods signing bullets…

Who knew the Patriots were trying to implement the “shoot and run?”…

The All-Pro may have to change positions from strong safety to remove the safety…

Next time I’m allegedly shot at a house party, forget dialing 911, I’m going to call 1-800-SHAKEDOWN and blame Plaxico Burress…

Wait a minute – my house is on fire – I’d better call my accountant…

Good to see noted Orlando personal injury attorney John Morgan get involved. First we had “Zanny the Nanny” – now we have “Brandon and the Handgun.” I’m still waiting for Oliver Sherlock Holmes to solve the Casey Anthony case…

The Blue Jeans Lounge in Apopka, Fla. - The site where all of Brandon Meriweather's alleged problems allegedly started.

I can’t believe I missed hip-hop night at the Blue Jeans Lounge  in Apopka?

What’s next – Eminem’s country classics?  Justin Beiber headlining Bike Week? Why not have Shaq’s all-you-eat pizza party at Jenny Craig? Or hold the monthly Orlando NOW meeting at Hooters?

And the host of hip-hop night at the Villages – Lil’  Wayne…Newton.

Great weekend. Caught the Red Sox three times in three cities. Adrian Gonzalez’s  first swing in a Sox uniform Saturday in Fort Myers was a base hit. After his debut – I was set to start sizing the World Series rings until I saw Josh Beckett  get rocked by the Pirates Sunday. The Sox and Yanks play tonight and Beckett may be the Yankees’ best hope this season.

Jim Tressel may not be out of the woods yet.

Jim Tressel may not be out of the woods yet.

Then there’s Ohio State football coach Jim Tressel.  He didn’t get a slap on the wrist – he got a full frontal massage with a happy ending. Following  Tressel’s lead – Ohio State is reportedly planning some changes. This week – they’ll open the Richard M. Nixon School of Government. It is supposed to be followed by the Bernie Madoff College of Business and they break ground on the O.J. Simpson Law School next month. Just across the wires – Ohio State has put its No. 1 ranking up for sale on e-bay.

The NFL owners are so greedy and foolish – they actually make us feel sorry for guys like Tom Brady and Drew Brees. The lockout was the 2nd worst thing to hit the NFL last week after that video  of Brady dancing at Carnival. And what was up with his Jan Brady hairdo? Of course, hook me up with a supermodel, 3 Super Bowl rings and $72 million – and I’d sport a pony-tail and Tango with Rex Ryan naked.

The Obnoxious Boston Fan can be reached via his Facebook page or at obnoxiousbostonfan@hotmail.com.

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March 14, 2011 at 5:01 pm

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February 8, 2011 at 1:50 am

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