Obnoxious Boston Fan

The world of sports from a unique perspective.

Posts Tagged ‘Orlando Magic

Coast-to-Coast – It’s a Beantown Boast

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Celtics

Hey Spike, you can't handle the Truth. Paul Pierce, KG, Ray Allen and the rest of the Celtics swept away the Knicks in Round 1.

Happy Easter.

Broomsday in the Big Apple! Talk about your all-time wicked awesome runs: starting with last Sunday’s Red Sox win over the Blue Jays – the Celtics, Red Sox and Bruins are a combined 14-1.

The Celtics weathered a scare Sunday but Knicks didn’t have enough. The key moments: Paul Pierce’s ability to draw a charge late in the 4th quarter on a breakaway and an earlier timeout followed by quick baskets from Pierce and Rajon Rondo after the Knicks had cut a 23-point lead to 4. It’s wonderful that New York’s 10-year run of playoff futility will run until at least 2012. The sweep is also nice because New York can always use a good spring cleaning. The Big Ticket punched out the Big Apple. The Knicks were simply Spiked…

Dice-K on a roll.

The 10-11 Red Sox became the best late-show on TV this week, finding their traction in, of all places, California. Much to the relief of Theo EpsteinTerry Francona and the guy who sells ads for NESN, that 2-10 record faded quicker than Charlie Sheen’s comeback.  This is the team that we all expected in spring training. Not expected:  John Lackey and Dice-K posting  back-to-back 8-inning, shutout performances on the road. I don’t think that’s even possible in MLB 2K11 with the setting on “infant.”

Adding to the miracles of Easter Sunday – Carl Crawford homered. Boston’s starters have allowed just six earned runs in their past 61 1⁄3 innings – which the Boston Herald  notes – was the team’s best such run as of Sunday since 1946. So we had the worst start since 1945 followed by the best run of pitching since 1946. Hope 1947 was a good year. It was also Boston’s first 4-game sweep of the Angels in Anaheim since 1980. Wow!

Did you see where some fan threw three crumpled $1 bills at Crawford while he was in the on-deck circle the other night? Luckily for everyone, he stayed off the foul pole and kept his clothes on.

Not sure what was the coolest moment of the week ice-wise — Andrew Ference offering his one-finger salute to les habitants watching Les Habitants, Michael Ryder’s save early in Game 5 (sorry, but that bounce off Chara’s skate was luck) or Nathan Horton’s goal in double-OT. The only thing that beats a goal in double-OT is a goal in triple-OT. Tim Thomas was a wall Saturday, but that stop by Ryder was chillastic. Meanwhile, Claude Julien has bounced back quicker than a Super Ball on steroids. Looks like he’s safe in the boardroom – at least until next weekend.

The NFL draft is this week and we learned the Pats will open their schedule on Monday, Sept. 12 at Miami. Now, if we only had a football season. Good to see Tom Brady cheering on the Sox. If there’ s not football this year maybe he work some short relief…

Wondering, will Auburn’s Cam Newton be eligible for unemployment once he’s drafted?…

Ohio State had its spring football game Saturday. Terrelle Pryor didn’t play, but he was outside the Horseshoe scalping tickets. Coach Jim Tressel is so shifty, he was caught secretly video-taping his own practice…

Booksigning at "Barnes & Toe-ble"

Rex Ryan has a new book out. It’s all footnotes. His first rejected title: “Tale of Toe Cities.” (Thanks to Joe Fitzgerald via Facebook for that one).  Ryan does have a book signing planned at the nearby “Barnes and Toe-ble.”…

Separated at birth — Thor and Clay Matthews

Orlando’s Dwight Howard ought to sue his teammates for support. That would be quite a twist. Wondering if Superman is going to need a plane ticket when he takes off for LA? There was a column in Orlando the other day comparing Orlando’s Hedo Turkoglu, Jason Richardson and Brandon Bass to the “Three Stooges.” They forgot about the fourth stooge – “Shemp Arenas.”  Funny, the only guy in Orlando not playing like a stooge is named “Howard.” But he’s very “fine.”…

With Arenas, the Magic are still on the hook or about $48 million. “Agent Zero” has become “Absolute Zero.” Hard to believe there was actually a deal that may be considered worse than the Kendrick Perkins trade in the NBA this season.  Arenas joins Grant Hill and Crawford on the all-time J.D. Drew list…

The Royal Wedding and the NFL draft are both this week. We’ll have a bunch of elite, pompous, spoiled millionaires all dressed up and parading around, bowing to a monarch — and then there’s Will and Kate. That’s not to be confused with the Royal Rumble – also known as Ben Roethlisberger’s wedding night…

Did Shaq greet the Easter Bunny or eat the Easter bunny? He didn’t get an Easter basket – he got an Easter bushel. Most kids got chocolate bunnies, Shaq picked up a chocolate hippo…

Obnoxious Boston Fan can be reached at obnoxiousbostonfan@hotmail.com or on his Facebook  page. He can also be heard Mondays on “Open Mike” with Mike Bianchi and Brian Fritz on 740-AM the Game  in Orlando. 

Written by Obnoxious Boston Fan

April 24, 2011 at 6:59 pm

Hooray for Patriots Day, Sugar Ray and the red-hot Sox

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Ray Allen

TRAY-MENDOUS!

Happy Patriots Day!

“The Red Sox Are Coming!  The Red Sox Are Coming!”

Three in a row. Break ’em up!

The real marathon was at Fenway with all those Red Sox baserunners crossing the plate in Monday’s 9-1 win.  Four hits (HR, 4 RBI)  from Jed Lowrie, 7 scoreless from Dice-K, J.D. Drew leads off with a triple, Carl Crawford hits an RBI double. There has been this much shock and awe on Patriots Day since, well, Patriots Day. You knew things were looking up when you they doubled their win total in 24 hours over the weekend.

Kendrick who? (Just kidding). If the Celtics and Thunder meet in the NBA Finals – we will fear “The Curse of the Perkino.”

Sunday’s headlines: Death Ray Destroys New York. Hip-Hip-Hoo-RAY! Allen’s shot came in the “Knick of time.” It was simply TRAY-MENDOUS, it came from beyond the “Arc de Triomphe .”  This could go on forever. Jermaine O’Neal was spectacular. It’s about time the Celtics got something from an O’Neal besides a “Shaq-tue.” …

To channel my inner Buford T. Justice — Jermaine finally became “germane” to the situation…

For Ray, it remains a case of “Springfield and Bust.”…

For 2 months, the Celtics have been telling us that Shaq would return for the playoffs. I’m thinking we were “Jim Tresseled” on that one. I’m afraid we won’t see Shaq in a Celtic uniform until Carl Crawford reaches .200, Gary Busey earns a Ph.D and Kemba Walker gets a library card…

Dwight Orlando, Orlando Magic

"Whens the next flight to LA?"

I saw Orlando Superman Dwight Howard scored 46 points in a loss Saturday. The only thing that will get him to L.A. quicker than a first-round exit by Orlando is a first-round exit by the Lakers. So many Magic players dozed off in their Game 1 loss, I thought I was watching air traffic control at OIA. This time, it was the Magic who left at half-time and didn’t come back – not the fans. There is a lot to do at the Amway Center in Orlando – there’s Stuff’s Playground, lots of  fancy restaurants and upscale bars, interactive displays, etc. If you stick around long enough, you might even see a basketball game…

Someone in Orlando set up a website – “staydwight.com” – to keep Dwight Howard in town. Well, it already has some on-line competition from a site called “LosAngelesLakers.com.”

Hard to believe a convicted felon and disgraced ballplayer like Barry Bonds would still have such a swelled head…

Tom Brady

"Why me?!?!?"

It’s Patriots Day. We honor Patriots like Paul Revere, John Hancock, John Adams — and the greatest Patriot of all – Captain Tom Brady. Unfortunately, Revere’s infamous cry of the “British Are Coming, the British Are Coming” has been re-placed by Brady’s whine of “Boo, hoo. Whaaaa! Why wasn’t I drafted in the 6th Round?” And the history books have it all wrong. Revere wasn’t tipped off by lights in the Old North Church – rather it was the work of a little-known spy sent by Colonel Nathaniel Belichick. And the bad guy, it turns out, was a fat English General named Cyrex Ryan. He was in charge of the British foot soldiers.

Kenya’s Geoffrey Mutai won the Boston Marathon in record time Monday. Surprised Donald Trump wasn’t at the finish line asking for his birth certificate. Shaq’s idea of the Boston Marathon – all you can eat pancakes at the IHOP in Brighton…

The University of Central Florida is No. 9 on Playboy’s party school list. Does that mean they’ll change their name from the Knights to the Trojans? Hey, with all his antics (including 5 suspensions), South Carolina QB Stephen Garcia is trying single-handedly to get his school on Playboy’s list. Of course, when it comes to Playboy, everything is “single-handed.”…

Boston has 1 goal in 2 games against Montreal. Was Crawford was moonlighting for the Bruins…

Walk this way, slowly.

J-Lo was named People Magazine’s most beautiful woman.In a related note,  her American Idol co-host Stephen Tyler was named America’s Most Beautiful Grandmother by the AARP…

The Beach Boys were in Orlando over the weekend. They’ve been around so long their idea of a “California Girl” is Betty White.

Obnoxious Boston Fan can be heard Monday mornings on “Open Mike” with Mike Bianchi and Brian Fritz on 740-The Game Orlando, reached on his Facebook page or at obnoxiousbostonfan@hotmail.com.

Written by Obnoxious Boston Fan

April 18, 2011 at 9:53 am